words.

The past eleven days have consisted of me being away from the norm.
Away from some of my strongest temptations,safe from things I am deathly scared of.
And as the day draws nearer that I am to leave here,my stomach takes back that festering ache it had since summer started.
I arrived on a Sunday evening and as we drove closer to their home,that anchor inside became nothing.
As if just leaving my regular routine became like aloe.
That next sunday as we did the normal thing of going to sunday school,singing praise to God and listening to someone speak His word,it came back.
The pit in my stomach,is it God telling me to stay or go?
Is what I'm doing right or wrong?

I'd like to think I could just stay with my wonderful relatives and never face the troubles at home and be with people who love God and share my beliefs.

God doesn't want me to stop growing,or never face the holes I've walked into.
Holes I got out of,but never stopped looking down.

Jesus,prepare my heart for what You have for me.
Take this pit and fill it with Your love.
All powerful.
All consuming.All knowing.Never changing.
Never ceasing.
Ever amazing.

Jesus.


-rach